Domestic abuse

Domestic abuse and violence currently affects approximately 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men at some point in their life. On average 2 women each week are murdered by their partner or ex-partner.

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What is domestic abuse?

Domestic abuse and violence can effect anyone, it can occur between parents and carers, the elderly and people in heterosexual or same sex relationships. Also between young people, regardless of their ethnicity, gender, religion, race, sexuality, class, or disability.

Domestic Abuse also includes other forms of abuse such as female genital mutilation (FGM), forced marriage (FM), and ‘honour’ based violence (HBV), that are perpetrated primarily by family members, and often with multiple perpetrators.

The Home Office defines domestic violence as:

"Any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are or have been intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality."

Their definition goes on to say domestic abuse and violence can include but is not limited to:

  • psychological and/or emotional abuse
  • physical abuse
  • sexual abuse
  • financial abuse
  • harassment
  • online or digital abuse
  • coercive control.

What sorts of domestic abuse and domestic violence are there?

Controlling behaviour

Controlling behaviour is a range of acts designed to make a person subordinate and/or dependent by isolating them from sources of support, exploiting their resources and capacities for personal gain, depriving them of the means needed for independence, resistance and escape and regulating their everyday behaviour.

Coercive behaviour

Coercive behaviour is an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim.

Emotional or psychological abuse

Emotional and psychological abuse can include:

  • name calling
  • forced to stay away from friends and family
  • feeling isolated
  • forced to stay at home
  • not allowed access to mobile phone
  • having mobile phone constantly screened
  • no access to internet
  • not allowed to work
  • being monitored all of the time.
Financial abuse
  • access to bank accounts being withheld
  • money being controlled in terms of how much you can have and when
  • prevented from working and earning own money
  • abuser running up debt in survivor's name
  • prevented from being part of decision making relating to purchasing items or other financial decisions.
Physical abuse
  • hit
  • punched
  • slapped
  • kicked
  • restrained
  • tied up
  • burnt
  • drowned
  • pinched
  • strangled
  • suffocated
  • stabbed
  • hair pulling
  • hit with objects such as saucepan, telephone, remote control, knives, forks, spoons, plates. 
sexual abuse
  • forced or coerced to engage in sexual acts (this could be with a partner, ex-partner or third party)
  • forced or coerced to have sexual events filmed or photographed
  • forced or coerced to into pregnancy
  • forced not to use contraception
  • kept pregnant
  • intentionally given sexually transmitted diseases.

How to stay safe

It is important that you complete safety planning whether you are staying in the relationship, fleeing the relationship or have already ended the relationship.

Staying safe in the relationship
  • If an argument occurs, try and move to a space where it is low risk. Try to avoid the bathroom, garage and kitchen
  • be prepared to call 999 during an incident. Keep your phone fully charged and on you at all times if possible
  • identify a code word in which you can use with your children for them to contact 999 or alert for help
  • if possible, identify one or more neighbours or friends which you can tell about what is going on – so they are able to call for help if they hear a disturbance from your home.
Fleeing the relationship
  • If safe to do so, start to put important documents for yourself and any children you may away in a safe place. Important documents can include passport, birth certificate, driver’s License, National Insurance Number, credit cards and any additional financial information
  • place important items/ essentials in a safe place packed away so you are able to pick these up in a hurry. A safe place may also be a friend's or relative's house. Important items and essentials may include medication, keys, emergency money, pictures and sentimental items, several changes of clothes for you and any children and basic toiletries
  • identify a safe place where you can go to. This may be by approaching housing providers to discuss housing options. You can find out about housing options in Ashfield or get advice if you are at risk of homelessness because of domestic abuse.
How to keep safe when you have left the relationship
  • Change your mobile phone number and only give out your new mobile number to people you trust
  • if you have remained in the property of where the perpetrator lived or the perpetrator has discovered your new address, ask us to make a referral for you to the Sanctuary Scheme. This will enable  appropriate safety measures to be put into place for your property.
  • if the perpetrator is aware of your daily routine for example which route you take any children to school or the route you take to go to work, consider taking different routes and changing times (by asking school or work for support with this) so the perpetrator is not aware
  • if the perpetrator is aware of any up and coming appointments you have, re-schedule the appointments if possible
  • obtain legal advice regarding obtaining a restraining order or non-molestation order or any other orders against the perpetrator to maximise your safety.

 

How to get help

In an emergency always call the police on 999.

We also have help available to provide confidential support survivors of domestic abuse no matter what stage they are at their journey whether they are still in the relationship with the perpetrator, planning on leaving the relationships or already left the relationship.

We can provide support and sign post for other complex needs which may arise due to domestic abuse such as mental health, substance misuse, housing and many more. We will risk assess each situation and ensure that a comprehensive safety plan is in place for the survivor.

We are also raising awareness regarding domestic abuse within the community to ensure that the community whether this would be residents or professionals are aware of domestic abuse, what potential signs to look out for and support agencies available within the Ashfield area.

You can fill in our reporting form to get in contact and request help and support.

Where else to get help from

Where to get help in Nottinghamshire

Ashfield District Council:

  • telephone: 01623 457 345

NIDAS (Nottinghamshire Independent Domestic Abuse Services):

Your Choice Project – Nottingham and Nottinghamshire perpetrator programme

Nottinghamshire sexual violence support services

Nottinghamshire sexual violence support services for children and young people

  • telephone: 0800 183 0023
  • website: Coral Cove - Nottinghamshire sexual violence support services for children and young people

Eastern European Support Services

Where to get help for women

Juno Women’s Aid (women, children, teenagers):

Womens Aid – National Information and support

Nottinghamshire Womens Aid – Children and young people’s services

For children and young people from 4 years up to 18 years (21 years for young people with additional needs) who are/have been living with domestic violence or abuse.

They also provide a service for young people aged 13-18 years who are experiencing domestic abuse in their own relationship

Where to get help for men

Mens Advice Line:

Equation (male support):

Mankind – Male victims of domestic abuse

  • telephone: 01823 334244
Where to get help for senior citizens

Action on Elder Abuse

  • telephone: 0808 808 8141 freephone
  • email: enquiries@elderabuse.org.uk
  • website: Hourglass

Age UK

  • telephone: 0800 169 2081
  • website: Age UK
Where to get help for survivors of child abuse or exploitation

S.H.E UK

Support services for survivors of childhood sexual abuse, exploitation, and sexual violence.

PACE

  • telephone: 0113 240 3040
  • website: PACE

Child exploitation and online protection (CEOP)

Where to get support for victims of perceived honour based crime and forced marriage

Karma Nirvana

Foreign and Commonwealth Office Forced Marriage Unit (FMU)

Where to get support for minority ethnic communities

Jewish Women’s Aid

Muslim Community Helpline

Where to get help for victims of female genital mutilation (FGM)

NSPCC FGM Helpline

Where to get help for refugees

Nottingham and Nottinghamshire refugee forum

Refugee Council

Where to get support for victims of stalking and harassment

National Stalking Helpline:

  • telephone: 0808 802 0300

Suzy Lamplugh Trust

National Stalking Advocacy Service – assists high risk victims of stalking

Where to get help for the pets of victims of domestic violence

Refs for Pets (if you need your pets housing if you leave):

  • telephone: 07971 337264
Where to get help nationally

Samaritans:

  • telephone: 116 123

Galop (LGBT+):

National Domestic Violence (24 Hour helpline number):

  • telephone: 0808 2000 247

Refuge

National Information and support

RESPECT

Support for perpetrators of domestic violence or abuse

  • telephone: 0808 802 4040
  • website: RESPECT

 

Contact details

Page last updated 14 January 2026

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